Kelly Slater, Mick Fanning to star as alter-egos of futuristic selves in off-beat adult comedy titled “The Greatest Surf Movie in the Universe!”

“My mom lost feeling in her jaw and tongue and in her hands and feet.”

A few days back, the Australian press went after Kelly Slater after he teed off on COVID vaccines despite recent revelations the vaccines may not have been the miracles they were promised, heart attacks now as common as catching a cold, athletes collapsing mid-game and so on. 

Now, and in the same interview referenced by the Aussie press where he was labeled a “cooker” or conspiracy theorist, Slater has detailed his mother’s shock reaction to the vaccine and says a pal’s mom is slowly being killed by the Pfizer vax.

“A number of people I know died,” the just-turned fifty one year old said. “I know a doctor who stopped administering it in Australia because two or three of his patients died on the Sunshine Coast. My mom was personally affected. She lost feeling in her jaw and tongue and in her hands and feet. She has what seems to be some type of transverse myelitis (a neurological condition caused by an inflamed spine).

“My friend’s mother from Barbados is in hospital right now in Florida and she’s dying slowly from the affects of the Pfizer vaccine. She’s on a quick dark, downward spiral and they don’t know how to fix it.”

Slater says he now fears the libertine west is on a sharp slide into a dark authoritarian place.

“It’s baffling to me that anyone would be forced to have a vaccine to keep their career, their job, their schooling, their place in society, their ability to go buy food in the store, all these things… it’s like a dystopian society to me. And I don’t think people realise that because it comes on in small waves and get you condition ed to being okay with this and then this and then this and then this rule.”

Not that he’s gonna ban the vax or tell you what to do with your own body.

“Man, it’s wild, but if you want the vaccine go get it. That’s fine. I’d rather you not because if something did happen, you can’t really reverse it, but force it onto me or my loved ones and don’t make me out to be a bad person because of it. ‘Cause if it works then you’re fine and you shouldn’t worry about me.” 

Two things I want to take out of this.

One, if it ain’t true and Pfizer can prove it, it won’t take much for their squad of lawyers to orchestrate his ruin via the sledgehammer of a defamation trial. What’s Slater worth? Thirty mill?

If they don’t touch it, what’s that mean?

Pfizer is a champion of free speech or they ain’t so confident about their miracle juice?

I don’t have skin in the game, neither pro or anti-vax, and only got the jabs so I could go outside, travel, hit the gym etc, but, man, every little murmur in the chest, every tingle in the arms, well, it feels like your weathered old pal is nearing the end of the line.

Remember me when I’m gone.

I pray Slater is wrong.



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