“Ey, better luck next time zon, go back to your
ocean.”
I spent yesterday commuting back to California
from glorious France where each sunset is a bouquet, each croissant
as if handmade Nina Métayer herself, each bite of foie gras, street
accordion note of La Vie en Rose, every “bonjour” from neighborhood
gendarmerie passing three by three with a doff of beret an event
worth enshrining forever in the Louvre.
Alas it is over, the 2024 Olympics now finished alongside the
Paris Opera Ballet’s famed Ecole de Danse summer intensive program
and the commute home was rough, landing in a wildly overcrowded
LAX, ugly aging functional architecture assaulting the eyes but
much better than Olympic surfing silver medalist Jack Robinson as
he returned to his Australian home and was assaulted, verbally, by
a French expat working in the Brisbane airport.
Robinson took to TikTok where he shared the encounter with his
67 million followers, revealing, “Yeah ze French guy in the
Australian customs. So on my way back from Tahiti I arrive from ze
flight and I get ze dec-er-al-ation, I come to ze customs, the guy
looks at me and says ‘Ey, better luck next time zon, go back to
your ocean.’”
@jackrobinsonsurf What are the odds of
being welcomed like this #TeamAustralia #olympics ♬ original sound – Jack
Robinson
Unclear why Western Australian native was using the typical
German “ze” to re-mock the employee, which was eminiscent of the
wonderful scene in Snatch where Jason Statham fun made Stephen
Graham for carrying a gun.
In any case, most of Robinson’s fans found the encounter funny,
responding in typical Australian “ha ha ha classic, mate” fashion
though some dug deep to their inner Brazilian and became incensed.
One penned, “Forget the customs officer…This kind of person that
hates and provokes everyone, including the French…French really
love Australians” and “He can go back to his ‘La Seine.’” Another,
“Bro the French are cocky asf, you did good man” and “Why the
French so smug? That’s a Tahitian gold, not a ‘French’ one.”
I guess with the lack of death threats and poop emojis not, in
fact, Brazilian but, like Turkish, Tommy and ze Germans, fun
nonetheless.
