If you’ve got the physical means to go for a wave,
go get one for me.
I almost died a few weeks back. Eighteen days in hozzy,
three wrapped up in wires in ICU. I’ve had a lot of time
in a hospital bed and on the couch to think about things.
The cause of this sudden health challenge was a virus which
triggered a severe form of myocarditis that led to my immune system
attacking my heart and lungs and ultimately trying to kill me in a
bad case of autoimmune friendly fire.
While I still don’t have a confirmed diagnosis, the leading
contender is rare, and deadly (giant cell, pretty depressive
data).
No, it’s not vaccine related, thanks
for asking though.
One of the things I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about is
surfing, what it means to me, why I’ve been so committed for
decades to chasing it and my assessment of this commitment when I
thought there was a reasonable chance of checking out.
Was it time well spent?
While not my only random dalliance with potential life
changing/ending situations (couple of car crashes, heavy shark bump
which thankfully missed my limbs) this was the most serious.
Surfing has been one of the core pillars of my life since my
late teens and has been the driving force for a lot of decisions.
One of which was leaving my native country, travelling and ending
up settling in another geo due to the access to more consistent
waves (+ a bunch of other upsides).
Side note: I’ve heard a working theory that if you’ve had to
hustle and risk a bit to get access to better waves and a better
life, you are way more appreciative of even marginal conditions. I
agree with this. I also think you tend to avoid becoming jaded and
burned out like those who were fortunate enough to grow up in
high-quality surf zones with frequent exposure to ok > good
waves.
I remember reading something Nick
Carroll wrote years ago about surfing and the ephemeral nature of
it as a sport. Nick had a line like, “the harder you
try and hold onto it, the more it slips through your fingers”.
I think there’s wisdom in this analysis. I also think it’s
equally applicable to trying to accurately describe the act of
surfing and the long-term impact on a life spent with a lot of
water time. I just don’t quite have the complete vocabulary to
fully articulate what it means to me. Apologies for clumsy language
and mangled metaphors ahead.
What’s my hot take?
On reflection, I have never felt more alive than peak moments in
good surf, ideally with good friends. I’ve been lucky to get quite
few of these moments over the past 30-plus years and had an
excellent run in 2024 (Fiji, G-land, coupla sessions in Portugal on
a work trip, north and south coast NSW and and at home in
Australia). Again, hard to articulate due to the fleeting nature of
the experiences, but a bunch of beautiful moments in beautiful
waves. I have zero regrets about any trip I’ve been on or any local
paddle out.
At point I’ve had high levels of stress and anxiety from the
common challenges of life. Navigating these challenges is one of
the privileges of being alive and a core feature of the human
experience. Having the habit of going for a wave regularly has
provided some emotional ballast and calm during times of internal
chaos.
Is surfing a mental health therapeutic? Who knows, but I’ve
found it helpful.
I’ve also found throwing myself in a stormy sea can calm a
stormy mind. In my experience it’s hard to be anxious about much
when you’re pinned in a four-foot shorebreak and have 15 duck-dives
to nail to escape purgatory.
Being fit makes everything else in life easier and surfing has
been a gateway drug for me to health and fitness. I started cross
training and mobility stuff in my early thirties to deal with
niggles and to stay in the water. This has had other benefits,
mental health and resilience, more waves, more time in the water,
potentially helping me recover faster in hospital.
Yeah it’s boring, no I’m not advocating becoming a gym bro (you
don’t need a gym) – but for me a bit of other fitness work has made
a solid difference. Again, zero regrets.
Surfing as social connective tissue. There is a famous Harvard
longitudinal study on what the secret of happiness is. Eighty-five
years of data shows it largely reverse engineers to love and social
connection. Being perma-frothy has given me a tight group of close
mates who I stay connected to and bullshit with. Our text threads
are a mixture of arguing the merits of fin systems (I’m pro FCS2,
controversial!), fin clusters (hail Simon Anderson!), boards,
shapers, waves, past and future trips and other meaningless surf
and life minutiae.
Social connection is also prominent during my average go out at
my city local as there’s probably 50 regs that know each other and
shoot the shit in the carpark and the surf in between hustling each
other for waves. I don’t think this is a particularly unique
experience, but I think it’s a beautiful thing. Those tight and
loose social connections may all be making us a bit happier and
keeping us alive.
Watching the kids take to the water. My kids both love the water
and prior to this curveball I’ve been enjoying watching my elder
one start on his surfing journey. I’ve been getting as much of a
kick surfing with him and his mates in little three-foot beachies
as I did at pumping eight-foot Kongs and the Ledge. And no, I have
no deep seated competitive or professional aspirations for him. I’m
no vicarious surf dad shoving my progeny out of the sky onto your
head as you navigate down the line. My only hope is he keeps going
and keeps learning and developing his own relationship with the
ocean.
Surf media as mindless entertainment. I used to buy mags before
the internet cruelled that model and have been lurking on BeachGrit
for quite some time. For me the consumption of surf media is a fun
distraction from the viciousness and seriousness of life. I
appreciate anyone who can write well (Derek, Nick Carroll,
Steve Shearer, JP, Jen
See, Chaz, Matt Warshaw, Jamie Brisick, Bill Finnegan, Jed Smith,
Gra Murdoch etc) and can capture what it means to ride waves, the
associated peripheral “lifestyle” or who can simply make me
laugh.
I also appreciate the sheer amount of good surf “content”
online. For free. If watching a Mason Ho video doesn’t make you
smile and immediately want to paddle out, do you even surf?
Could I have spent this time more productively? Absolutely.
Would it have led to a more fulfilling and richer life – who
knows?
But watching a CT while chatting in the threads is real fun.
So what does it all mean?
Surfing has been a major positive for me and I’m happy to have
chased it hard. While I’m not sure when I can paddle out again,
best case three-to-six months, I’m hoping I get the opportunity and
will suck the marrow out of every moment if it happens.
If you’ve got the physical means to go for a wave, go get one
for me.
Life is a finite and chaotic thing and one day you won’t have
the opportunity.
