Waveless, shark-infested Perth secures $120 million for “once-in-a-generation” wavepool

After bounding through, over and around more hoops that a biz that promises to change a city should have to, wavepool company Aventuur has finally secured the cash it needs to build a $120 million Wavegarden in Perth.

It all started back in 2017 when Aventuur’s first attempt at building a pool there, on a picturesque hunk of riverside land next to a lawn bowls club where surfers could shred against the background of the setting sun and the surprisingly muscular Perth skyline, was stymied by the good burghers of Melville.

So they shifted away from the river and into a south-eastern suburb called Jandakot, flat, hot, ain’t much there in that part of town except broken dreams and your ol pal DR should know he grew up nearby, where it was subsequently slammed by one prestigious news outlet as a “depraved paradise” and a sign of Western Australia’s “gutted soul.”

That was followed by a hit from environmentalists after it was revealed around thirteen acres of endangered vegetation would be bulldozed, putting the habitat of the almost extinct black cockatoo to the sword.

It was eventually approved by the state’s environmental watchdog which said the vegetation is already degraded so, fuck it boys, y’might as well bring in the bulldozers.

Two years later, Aventuur has finally secured it last chunk of funding from the Royal Automobile Club of West Oz (RAC), which threw in the last few mill needed after securing the majority of funding from the Wyllie Group, noted for its plane and chopper flying and remote West Oz reef shredder Luke Wyllie, a surf pal of Taj Burrow etc.

Andy Ross, the banker behind it all and the man behind the Tullamarine tank, described the project as the biggest thing to happen in the city in a quarter of a century, a “once-in-a-generation project.”

Projected to open in 2027.

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