“Stop touching me.”
It goes without writing that we all live in extremely divided times. Left loathing right. Right loathing left. Camps within each loathing each other. Neighbor extremely suspicious of neighbor, friend cancelling friend, but all were miraculously brought together on this Cyber Monday, united by equal loathing for a ridiculous looking surfer and a “Chad” aiming to shame him.
But let us travel, together, to Newport Beach, California, or maybe Del Mar, where our scene unfolds in broad daylight. For here we witness a surf caricature, floppy blonde hair, sunglasses, attempting to parallel park a white older model Mercedes station wagon festooned with an orange longboard. The “Chad” pulls up, cellphone out and ready, declaring, “Ahhh, now you’re hitting cars, bro, come on,” in classic west coast whine.
The “surfer” flashes a peace sign and responds, “Get a job, Chad. Is that your name? Chad? Go and hit up some açaí berries.”
Surfer girlfriend, girl friend or wife then appears as Chad tries to warn her not to get hit, that “He’s hitting cars.”
She says, “Dude, I know who you are.” He says, “Stop touching me.”
And the whole business devolves from there.
The video, posted to Reddit, has only one tone in comments. That both antagonists are horribly annoying.
A sampling:
Guy in chubbies calling other guy Chad is peak Chad behavior.
I surf out front of this street daily. You don’t longboard here. Unless he’s gonna take the longggg walk to the pier, that board isn’t touching the water.
Pretty hard to take a guy calling you a chad seriously when he’s barely even wearing pants himself.
alk about the pot calling the kettle Chad, geez!
The video does raise a larger question, though. Is it ok to lightly tap bumpers when parking? My skill is so great at the parallel arts that it is unnecessary but I’ve always found it ok.
Happy Cyber Monday.
