Barron Mamiya bags perfect 10, deposes John John Florence in “changing of guard” Lexus Pipe Pro win!

The most shameful display in professional surfing’s history?

The World Surf League has much to apologize for in its nine-ish year run as the “global home of surfing” but, maybe, maximizing shame today. After a much ballyhooed equality push, the aforementioned WSL forced the women to surf absolute garbage after becoming too scared to put the men into proper Pipe. The ankle slappers an absolute affront to all but especially the greatest ever surfer Carissa Moore, who refused to “go to turns” in the elimination round and became eliminated thereby ending an illustrious career only momentarily tarnished by Ziff n co.

Ever classy, Moore declared, “I wanted more than anything to be able to put on a performance and share my love and joy for surfing with everyone at the Pipe Pro. Instead, I finished my last heat at home in challenging conditions with less than 2 points 🤪😅 Help! Haha. It’s ok. Like Ted Lasso says, “Be a Goldfish.” Everything happens how it’s supposed to. This is my favorite pic from the day and the event for me. Win or lose, this amazing man and his hugs are always waiting on the shore. Over the last 13 years on tour it’s his embrace that has given me the strength to walk up the beach with my head held high no matter the outcome. Thank you to everyone who came down to support live and tuned in online, not only today but this whole time. I love you and I am truly grateful😊💛.”

Ever shit, the World Surf League followed with the press release:

Women Surge Toward Epic Finals Day at Lexus Pipe Pro Presented by YETI

BANZAI PIPELINE, Oahu, Hawaii, USA (Friday, February 9, 2024) – The world’s best surfers will now prepare for Finals Day tomorrow at the Lexus Pipe Pro Presented by YETI, Stop No. 1 on the World Surf League (WSL) 2024 Championship Tour (CT), after completing the women’s Elimination Round and Round of 16 today at the world-renowned Banzai Pipeline on the North Shore of Oahu.

Today’s heats narrowed the field to the final eight women, seeing the five-time World Champion and event favorite, Carissa Moore (HAW), exit early in the Elimination Round. At the same time, the next generation made big moves to the Final Series in their first event of the season.

All of the former event winners, Moore, Moana Jones Wong (HAW), and Tyler Wright (AUS) were eliminated, guaranteeing a new face on top of the podium tomorrow.

There, again, was no surging. Only a disgusting and shameful trotting out of professionals into less than knee high waves.

World Surf League Chief of Sport Jessi Miley-Dyer?

You need to publicly say sorry.

On your behalf, and while waiting, I will.

Sorry, gals.

Noa Deane was right.

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