“Let us know if Harry can ever put on his big boy britches and make it into the ocean.”
It was the section of the Slater pool that wrenched the ball of Chas Smith’s shoulder out of the glenoid cavity, a hard-breaking wall of water that folds onto itself allowing thrill seekers the opportunity to ride a once-in-a-lifetime barrel one hundred miles from the Pacific.
Recently, Prince Harry, the exiled tough-as-nails royal who bravely slaughtered twenty-five Taliban from his helicopter turret during his tour of Afghanistan, and which was revealed in his best-selling memoir Spare, made a third trip, I think it is, to the Kelly Slater wave pool in Lemoore, California.
And it was here, on the very section that put Chas Smith out of order for six months, that Prince Harry slew the dragon.
Cause for much celebration, you would think, one of the world’s great elites joining our unique band of cutthroats and ne’er-do-wells.
Well, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned or a man with a keyboard and a data connection. For within minutes, the online world was alight with button-pushers trolling our Prince.
“Eco-Warrior Harry, who lives on the Californian coast, drives inland to an artificial surf school that uses vast amounts of vast amounts of energy to create waves.”
“That’s not surfing, that’s simply cruising on a man made wave machine.”
“Its a surfing compound miles away from the actual beach.”
“It’s in Central California. He’s nowhere near a beach!”
“Wow surfing a three foot artificial wave. Awesome dude!”
“My god, it’s not like he’s actually surfing, those are man made waves.”
“You can think you’re surfing, but until you get out there in the real ocean and eat some sand or get have the threat of the board hitting you in the head when the wave doesn’t go the way you think it should, forget it.’”
“You’re in the kiddie pool.”
“Surfing is fine. That’s a big thing in California. But it’s presented as ‘an important message’ which it is not.”
“Harry looks to be just a beginner since he can’t stand and balance well.. and apparently can’t surf in the ocean.”
“It might be newsworthy if he were at Big Sur and actually surfing in the ocean catching some big waves!”
Tough crowd etc.
