“You’ve got Tulsi, ex-Democrat, Elon, ex-Democrat,
Joe Rogan, ex-Democrat, Robert F Kennedy Jr, ex-Democrat, Donald
Trump, ex-Democrat…the Republican Party is run by old school
Democrats!”
In 2019, Ain’t That Swell podcasters, Jed Smith and
Vaughan Blakey, spent forty-five minutes on a Skype call to the
then wanna-be democratic nominee for the presidential
race, Tulsi Gabbard
Vaughan woke up one morning to a DM from Tulsi, a surfer,
saying.“Hey guys, love the show, love to come on sometime.”
Vaughan’s nostrils, you’ll remember, were almost fatally
distended by the presidential perfume.
Tulsi performed well on the show, she referenced other episodes
of Ain’t That Swell and patiently remained silent as the
broadcast was diverted by Jed Smith on his many wonderful little
rants.
But fast-forward five years and Tulsi is the new Director of
National Intelligence under Republican President Donald Trump. It
was a hell of a switcharoo and one I knew my ol pal Jed Smith would
have an opinion on.
So I call up Jed, thirty-seven now and living a thousand clicks
away from his Bondi neighbourhood. I figure he’ll hit me with some
socialist and wildly anti-capitalist bullshit, which I’ll secretly
enjoy and mostly agree with, and tell me Tulsi’s a turncoat, a
sell-out etc.
He don’t.
“I’m loving her,” he says in the same recognisable Australian
drawl that brings in tens of thousands of listeners to his and
Vaughan’s podcast. “She’s exactly the same person. It’s so
interesting, man. You’ve got Tulsi, ex-Democrat, Elon, ex-Democrat,
Joe Rogan, ex-Democrat, Robert F Kennedy Jr, ex-Democrat, Donald
Trump, ex-Democrat…the Republican Party is run by old school
Democrats! A vote for change is a vote for the Republican Party
which is run by old school left-wing people.”
Jed says Tulsi hits all the points you should care about, like
the looming spectre of nuclear war.
“She’s anti that shit. She’s been calling out the threat of a
nuclear war for years and years. That’s her main thing, stopping
America’s imperialist interventions abroad. She wants to quell the
fucking threat of nuclear war. What could be wrong with that? I
don’t give a fuck if she’s wearing a red hat or a blue hat. I don’t
want the world to go up in smoke. She’s a veteran and when you’re
part of that military culture, a shit kicker, it’s a brutal
truth-telling culture, same as the bottom end of the working class.
You call a spade a spade and the fact she’s in the Republican
Party, well, that’s fucking epic. The Democrats black-balled her.
They weren’t going to give her shit and they shut out Bernie
Sanders. The Democratic Party is a write off. You’re mad to have
any faith in ‘em.
We talk a little about why Hillary Clinton claimed Tulsi was a
Russian asset. Jed says it’s ‘cause Clinton’s a stooge of the
fabled military industrial complex; I think it’s ‘cause Tulsi, hot
as fuck, a little colour in her skin, smarter, a vet, a woman, was
stealing nasty old cuckquean’s thunder.
I tell him, you should get Tulsi back on Ain’t That
Swell. Director of National Intelligence v Jed and Vaughan.
Tell me that won’t get the needle firing north.
“I should hit her up again but I don’t like my chances. She’s
one of the biggest hitters in the world, one of the most famous
people in the world. Mate, it was crazy when she was on the show.
Forty minutes. She cut deep, straight to the bone. Didn’t shy away
from anything. And we get blowback from people when they listen to
that interview now. Messages saying, how can you support her? I’m,
like, what do you mean? What is your problem with her? We get these
die-hard Californian Democrats telling us we can’t support her. We
hate you. You’re out of the club.”
Ol Jedaum sighs the sigh of a man, a good man, a surfer and not
the new sort that has little crumblings of baby powder in his
underarms from his anti-rash regimes.
“The culture wars are so nauseating. So spun. You know, it’s so
simple. Most people want dignity for the poor and an end to
poverty. Fundamental common sense shit. Decent housing. Good
quality food not full of poison and plastic and fucking vaccines
that aren’t going to fuck us all it. It’s all pretty fucking
reasonable. Who fucking wouldn’t want that?”
Jed pauses.
“Fuck!”
