Kelly Slater, 52, slated to compete against John John Florence at Bells Beach as surf fans openly ask, “Will he ever win another heat?”

“I recommend you go to Nosara in Costa Rica.”

Once upon a time, surfers were wildly tribal creatures. Each fell into one very specific camp, high performance Merrick shortboard only gang, say, or below the knee Billabong trunks exclusive crew, and would claw any outsider right in the eyeballs. Alas, times have changed with the swelling ranks of illiterate Covid learners and “good vibes’ enthusiasts. Still, the pockets of rage remain, and let us travel, together, to Central America where one spark has ignited a long-simmering blood feud.

Thunderbomb Surf Camp, which calls Nicaragua home, recently receiving a message asking, “hi, I’m looking for a last minute surf trip for my son. He’s 16. We’re both intermediate surfers but I surf on a SUP. We are looking at the first week of April and can be a little flexible on dates. We would prefer not to have to bring our own boards.”

Jonathan, Thunderbomb’s proprietor, neatly responded, “Hi, I’m sure you are a nice guy but sups and or foils are not allowed here. I recommend you go to Nosara in Costa Rica.”

And, thus, all hell broke loose.

Desert Coyote waded in “always enjoyed following you because it was always positive vibes and good feels. Lately it feels like you might have some ego issues going on centered around 🇨🇷. Everything okay?”

And the pile on began. A sampling:

“It’s wild you don’t understand that you’re not just losing sup surfers, you’re also losing regular surfers and customers who don’t want to stay with a clown. And that’s not even the point, I’m sure you’re doing just fine without us and life’s grand, it’s just crazy for ego to be the thing you’re known for.”

“Damn dude. I don’t SUP but the guy is trying to spend time in the ocean with his son. That’s what life is all about, sharing experiences with each other and spending time together. We are all water people enjoying mother ocean no matter what we ride. Same goes with skateboarding. I treat the scooter kids in the skatepark with respect even though scooting is very uncool in my opinion but the big picture is they’re just trying to have fun and shred! Just hoping my perspective helps a bit. Respect”

“Keep sending them over brotha 🫡 more opportunities for our locals, hotels and the whole community. Should Maybe think of opening another resort under a separate name or something, targeting a more broad market. missing opportunities my friend to help grow ur community!”

“Jonathan / AKA king stirrer of the ‘sup’ers aren’t humans’ pot”

“You are usually funny … but my dad is a lawyer and this is discrimination per se”

“This comes across pretty dickish, FYI.”

And the classic “The ocean belongs to everyone!”

Does it, though?

More to the point, will this trouble lead directly to a reprise of 1980s Central America instability?

More, certainly, as the story develops.



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