The world’s winningest surfer, Kelly Slater, has kept himself out of the spotlight for the longest congruent stretch in a storied career. The 11x champion was not in the booth at Lower Trestles when the World Surf League concluded its 2024 season. He is not in Abu Dhabi for the upcoming historic Longboard Classic. He has not openly chatted with his good friends Joe Rogan, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Charlie Goldsmith or Jack Johnson.
Surf fans, becoming increasingly worried, were, therefore, relieved today when the ageless 57-year reemerged and as provocative as ever.
Slater made public for the release of his brand new surfboard model the FRK SWALLOW.
“We’ve been kind of talking about doing this for a while,” the multi-hyphenate surfer declared in discussing the latest in his FRK and FRK+ surfboard model series designed with shaper Dan Mann. “Aesthetically, I think [the FRK SWALLOW] looks great. I would probably ride this up to about 5 foot.”
Now, the FRK, even missing its vowels, could not be more spicy in light of the too-hot-to-handle allegations swirling around P. Diddy. The disgraced music mogul was arrested, recently, and charged with sex trafficking, amongst other crimes. His “freak offs,” heretofore hidden, the stuff of dark legend that might gobble up celebrities’ reputations for the foreseeable future.
The question, I suppose: Did Slater time the release of his surfboard model for maximum provocation?
FRK SWALLOW.
It really seems like it.
Master scene stealer.
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