Smoke and fire.
Surfing, as it becomes Olympic, is in an absolute world of hurt. Oh not because its debut was in the glorious island nation of Japan with its unbeatable cuisine and smaller waves. Not because its reprise will be at Teahupo’o where the world’s current best surfer, one Filipe Toledo, refuses to paddle due nerves.
No.
Surfing, at its Olympic level, is most troubled all thanks to drugs.
Not the drugs of old, mind you, the cocaines (buy here), marijuanas and methamphetamines but those of the performance enhancing sort.
Oh, I don’t think our heroes and heroins are purposefully attempting to take shortcuts towards greatness but so so many ingredients in various supplements have been deemed no-no by the ruling class and how to know what is forbidden? Which tincture or powder?
Rough days.
Rougher, even, in the aftermath of Brian Johnson aka Liver King, a “natural caveman” who derived strength and incredible musculature from eating raw animal organs but also, allegedly, lots of steroids.
Per the New York Post:
Johnson — who rose to fame after claiming he lives an “ancestral lifestyle” that includes eating raw liver — was outed by a fellow bodybuilder who claimed to have evidence of Johnson’s steroid use, as seen in leaked emails allegedly sent by Johnson.
The father of two has been posting to Instagram since August 2021, amassing over 1.7 million followers and swearing that his intense workouts and eating as a “modern caveman” are the secret to how he’s achieved and maintained his ripped body.
Johnson — who has posted videos showing him chowing down on raw animal liver, protein shakes, egg yolks and bone marrow — claims his body is 100% natural and has staunchly denied steroid use.
Johnson has been accused of using performance-enhancing drugs by a YouTuber who simply goes by Derek, whose channel “More Plates More Dates” is dedicated to speculating whether bodybuilders are “natty or not,” meaning naturally ripped or using steroids.
In the hourlong video, which has exceeded 1.68 million views, Derek shows emails he claims Johnson sent to an unnamed coach in 2021, in which the muscleman allegedly shares his goals to build his “Liver King” brand and admits to spending $11,000 on the figure-enhancing drug.
Oh man and oh bother. Accidental tincture or powder use aside, do you think there are any professional surfers, on the Olympic track, actively engaged in proper ugly?
Who?
Please don’t answer. A pure hypothetical.
Hypo-methyltestosterone-theoretical.
Teahupo’o awaits.
The place of larger skulls.
It’s on etc.
