“Almost definitely frustrated, Tate pivoted to a
more surefire hit.”
Nearly one week ago, the surf world was lightly
jiggled when some of the World Surf League’s youngest
stars signaled strong affection for the self-identified woman hater
Andrew Tate and his older, yet younger-looking, brother Tristan.
Cole Houshmand, currently number 21 in the rankings and set to come
up against Ethan Ewing when Europe’s Grand Slam kicks off once
more, was joined by Jett Schilling and others, ecstatic-eye’d, calling the
incel superstar Tates “G’s”
Andrew Tate, needing to rock the media’s boat, keeping himself
in the news, and knowing well that the World Surf League had
pivoted hard woke in recent years, must certainly have been
disappointed there was only deafening silence. Just seven years
ago, the “global home of surfing” made the media rounds, pounding
chest, declaring it the first sport’s governing body to codify
equal pay betwixt men and women.
Tate, who has described women as “intrinsically lazy” also
declares, “I’m a realist and when you’re a realist, you’re sexist.
There’s no way you can be rooted in reality and not be sexist.”
The World Surf League, shockingly, joined the rest of surf
media, including bastion of social consciousness The Inertia, in
pretending the whole business never happened.
Almost definitely frustrated with the lack of “spicy,” Tate
pivoted to a more surefire hit.
Ye West.
The self-identified Nazi has been on a tear, lately, beefing
with Jay-Z and Beyonce’s young twins, Playboi Carti, the sun and
multiple others including the mother of his four children, Kim
Kardashian.
Kim Kardashian reportedly cut short her daughter North’s
visit with Kanye West after learning that Andrew Tate and his
brother, Tristan Tate, would be there, too. The Skims co-founder
had her eldest child removed from her ex-husband’s care after
security guards told her that the controversial Tate brothers were
on their way.
West, it must be noted, just dropped a track featuring his
daughter singing along with Sean “Puff Daddy” Combs over
objections. No telling what the billionaire Kardashian would have
done if she thought Houshmand was tailing along all googly as well.
Cheetah-print hair menacingly purring.
North West, almost certainly, not allowed to attend the US Open
of Surfing.
The question remaining, which finger symbols would Houshmand and
his boys debuted at the Ye-Tate meeting?
Speed, power and flow.
