“We’ve finally solved one of life’s most
confounding mysteries…”
Cathedral bells are chiming across the United
Kingdom, this morning, after researchers made a profound
breakthrough overnight. For decades, now, the greatest minds in
England, North Ireland, Scotland and Wales have puzzled over how
the young royals, Princes William and Harry, fell in love with
surfing. Their House of Windsor has placed five backsides on the
throne, George V, Edward VIII, George VI, Elizabeth II and Charles
III.
None notable wave sliders.
And yet William, next in line for the crown, has enjoyed both
the boogie life and the longerboard life for years, surfing in
Wales, England and Scotland, three of his four holdings. Harry,
though currently banished, was just snapped getting placed into a Kelly
Slater barrel by none other than Raimana Van
Bastolear.
From whence did this “need for speed,” to quote California
surfing royalty Matt Archbold, come?
New analysis suggests from the late great Queen of Hearts,
Princess Diana herself.
Per the Daily Mail
think-piece, Lady Diana, “…took her mind off her
separation from Charles in 1993 on the sandy beaches of Nevis in
the Caribbean. She took William and Harry, then aged ten and eight,
bodyboarding and her friend Catherine Soames joined them. The
pictures (of the surfing-adjacent) hit the front pages in the UK
and when Diana returned home, she said: ‘That was the best holiday
I’ve ever had.’”
And thus the hook was set. William described a Scottish surfing
session from some 20 years ago whilst he was at university,
declaring, “It was a bit like putting your head in a freezer when
you went underwater, but the wetsuit I’ve got is pretty good. I
couldn’t feel my hands for about half an hour. After a while they
get so numb. There’s no noise. It’s just you breathing. You’re in a
different world with the fish.”
Harry, of course, in Lemoore with the aforementioned Van
Bastolear solemnly stating, “In Tahiti, we still call you Prince
Harry. But at Surf Ranch, it’s my brother.”
Further scrutiny reveals that King Charles surfed Cornwall in
1973 but that was before either of his sons were born so doesn’t
count.
And there we have it. One of life’s more confounding mysteries
likely solved.
Huzzah.
