Surf fans bite nails down to nubs as living legend Kelly Slater hovers just below the dreaded cut line heading into Bells Beach!

Wildly rude.

None of us here, no not one, would actually choose to be attacked by a shark whilst surfing but the aftermath, once flesh and bone were healed, might be cool-ish. Imagine being at a party, word spreading that you had been nibbled by a sea monster and survived to tell the tale. That you still surf and are so brave and handsome and dashing. The best of humanity. The sort of tough that history has mostly forgotten.

Well, apparently it is not all that it is cracked up to be, or at least according to recent victim Matt Picarelli.

The 36-year-old Floridian was enjoying a surf at Florida’s Pepper Park Beach on March 12th when all hell broke loose.

“It was a big animal next to me coming towards me and then, once it bit me, it took a chomp out of my foot and it just immediately left and just flew away, like so quick,” Picarelli told local WPTV. “Everything happening so quickly, it didn’t feel real at all. It felt very surreal.”

He described the sensation as “a car hitting me with a machete blade at the end of it.”

Picarelli managed to make it to the beach where bystanders gave him water and kept pressure on the wound before a friend drove him to a local hospital.

“Fifty stitches, broken tendon, chipped the bone. Yeah, it was – didn’t look good,” he added.

But the worse part? Maybe not pain or upcoming rehabilitation, no, but rather lurid, horrifying dreams.

“Every night, I’ve been having nightmares about it,” the handsome brunette continued. “I’m having sharks, whether I’m in the water or even in a room, coming towards me and biting my leg, biting my arm, biting my side, biting something, and attacking me.”

The biting “something” particularly ominous.

Horribly rude even.

Picarelli, though, displaying the aforementioned almost forgotten tough vows to return to the waters, saying, “I’ve surfed my entire life. I love the ocean. So, I don’t see myself not going back in after this.”

Brave.

Help him on his way here.

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