Where were they hiding?
In a move shocking business analysts worldwide, the surf industry has magically unburied nearly 100 more people to fire. The Orange County Register is reporting that Authentic Brands Group sacked 84 souls. The New York City based management company completed purchase of the surf industry less than two months ago. Quiksilver, Billabong, RVCA, DC Shoes and more.
The acquisition celebrated at Costcos country-wide.
Before the sale, “Boardriders,” as the surf industry was then called, canned what it thought was everyone. Nearly 7000 hard-working surf industry employees sent to the bread lines.
Surf industry questions swirl
As the dust settles, business analysts are wondering where the 84 were hiding. The human resources operative in charge of handing out pink slips insists that all bathroom stalls were thoroughly checked. Also underneath all desks and break room closets.
Covid work-from-home rules might be to blame. Quiksilver, Billabong, RVCA, DC Shoes and more managers still practicing “an abundance of caution.”
One likely culprit may be the warehouse where Kelly Slater’s K brand stored its unsold wears.
Now that the entire surf industry has been fired, business experts are wondering if #surfonomics will also disappear. According to the Surf Industry Manufacturers Association, “The surf industry is driven by a growing, passionate, and vibrant customer base of participants in the United States. #Surfonomics is how we define the financial scale and impact of surfing on the global economy.”
It seems extremely likely.
Here, in any case, is a poem about getting fired.
Few can get a “golden parachute,”
that the elite have to escape.
Wage slaves must suffer hardship,
eating retirement saved at rapid rate.
There is no good side to, “You’re fired,”
although some will say it woke them up.
Those harsh words have a sting to them,
that leaves a bad taste in your cup.
What a blessing to be comfortably retired,
and never, ever have to hear again, “You’re fired!”
I hope you feel better now.
