“A few years ago my Dad was surfing and today he
barely walks, has to be fed food and is non-verbal.”
Dementia, Alzheimers, whatever you want to call it, is a
helluva disease that turns even the smartest people alive
into confused, paranoid husks
wandering the fluorescent-lit hallways of locked dementia units or
in the case of the USA, carrying the codes for nuclear
armageddon.
There’s no hope, no cure, no improvement.
A downslide into the depths of hell until death’s merciful hand
ends the pain.
The one-time world title contender Owen Wright, who is
thirty-four, has spent the last five years caring for his Dad Rob
even as he deals with the lingering effects of his own brain
trauma.
In a harrowing post on social media, Owen spoke movingly about
his Dad’s struggle as the pair sat side by side, checking the surf
at Boulders, a quirky rock-bottom wave just south of Lennox, and a
favourite wave of his old boy’s. It’s Rob’s last stop before going
into a Dementia unit.
“He’s surfed here forever. Every morning. He was still surfing
here three years ago. And five years ago he got diagnosed with
dementia. He hid it before that. He already knew before that, but
he hid it from us.
“But we found out about it five years ago and he was surfing all
the way up until two years ago. And today we’ve come down to
Boulders to say see you later to Boulders, because we’re off to the
Home today. We’re taking him to the nursing home to get some better
care.
“We fought pretty hard, didn’t we Poppy, to keep you out of
there. That was your wishes. You said that to me years ago, ‘I
don’t want to go in there. I don’t ever want to go into one of
those places.’ So we fought pretty hard to keep you out. And we did
pretty well, I reckon.
“Because the condition he’s in now is non-verbal, can barely
walk, doesn’t get out of bed much. You know, dementia can be pretty
messy and incontinence is a part of that, not knowing how to feed
yourself. Losing bodily functions. That’s something I wasn’t aware
of when this started. I thought it was just memory. And seeing how
far it goes is quite shocking, but we did our best to keep him out
of the Home for as long as we could.
“It definitely took a toll on me personally and emotionally, but
you do anything for your mums and dads. And I guess today is a big
day for us, hey Poppy? We’ll put you into the Home, get some care,
get some nurses around and maybe meet some new people.
“Anyway, what a journey mate, what a journey. So, it’s been a
pleasure. It’s been a wild ride, for sure.”
In his book Against the Water, Owen
wrote,
“My Dad did so many things that clearly got great results. That
relationship was the reason I surfed, it was the reason I pushed,
it was the reason I rebelled, it was the reason I pushed again.
It’s part of the reason I’ve retired. And it’s part of the reason I
made it back out of the head injury.”
Little sister Tyler Wright, in the news this past week over
fears the Arabs gonna string her up as proscribed in Sharia Law at
the UAE pool event, has a different take on the Wright
patriarch.
Wright says she suffered “different
emotional and psychological abuse” from her Dad.
“I experienced that and I worked with a psychologist for years
to understand my relationship with surfing and understand how that
was born, how it was really unhealthy for me,” Wright told Dave
Prodan on his usually milquetoast podcast The Lineup.
“I’m rebuilding a relationship with surfing because of the
drastic and extreme circumstances that I was raised in…Look, this
is not uncommon. Which is baffling for someone like me. If this is
not uncommon, why don’t we have better solutions, better parenting
programs, better informed industry? I’m not the first child this
has happened to. I’m not the first child star this has happened
to.”
Let’s hope there’s a little of that old school divine
forgiveness on the cards ‘tween daughter and Dad.
