The Louisiana-born comic Theodor Capitani von Kurnatowski III aka Theo Von, has lent his weight to a popular theory about late-stage bodyboarding that has been doing the rounds since the sport was first birthed in Carlsbad, California, in 1977.
Along with the feted actor Danny McBride, whose turns as Kenny Powers in 2009’s Eastbound and Down and Jesse Gemstone in 2019’s Righteous Gemstones have made him a cult figure among men, Von describes the peculiarity of post-pubescent men on boogie boards.
McBride, who is forty-nine, begins the interview by explaining his surfing is limited to prone because of his size.
“I’m too top heavy to surf. I’m more of a bodyboarder. You ever see big heavy dudes try to surf? It’s really, it’s hilarious. It’s like Mr. Potato Head body out there. The aerodynamics are off. So you have to just go all in on the boogieboarding. Like, no, I’m good at this. This is what I’m all about. I could stand up on this thing, but I choose not to.”
Here, and with McBride lured into the danger zone, Von strikes.
“Is there anything a dicier than being an adult boogieboarder? At a certain point. Your wife, the wives are always just standing in the distance, like just waiting, shaking heads.”
A popular comment on the thread was, “Grown men should not be riding children’s toys. You are a sponger dork if you reply.”
I waver on the subject. Sometimes sexy, sometimes not so much.
You?
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