Let them eat kook.
CNN, the once “most trusted name in news,” has had a very rough decade. From king of the 24-hour news cycle to less viewers than the Joe Rogan Experience, the fall has been as brutal as it has been precipitous. Yet even today, Ted Turner’s flagship can surprise. Take a new feature on luxury surf travel, which jolted even this wrinkled old surf journalist.
The piece began discussing the ridiculously high price of Kelly Slater’s new Abu Dhabi wave tub. Of course, we here all know that a 90 minute session in the slavepool runs $950, roughly equating to $150 per wave. Ryan Watkins, general manager, shared it’s worth it because, “We’ve adopted a quality over quantity methodology. We run the best waves in the world; we definitely don’t run the most waves.”
Blah blah, yeah?
What I didn’t know about, though, was the “luxury surf travel experience” Mahalo Surf Club founded by Felippe Bonella Dal Piero. A four-day trip begins at $150,000. The price so high becasue, “There’s no margin for failure.” His clients want the finest of accommodation and guaranteed uncrowded surf. “It’s like a James Bond operation,” Dal Piero adds, saying he incorporates wave tubs into the package but “standing up on a wave and going 100 meters, that’s not surfing,” according to him. His clients want “connection with nature, with the rhythm of the ocean.”
Nothing says “connection with nature” and “rhythm of the ocean” like buying it.
Which brings us back to Kelly Slater. CNN uncovered a 2003 chestnut from the 11x world champion in which he declared, “Surfers have dreamed of creating the ultimate wave machine. The perfect setup would take surfing to every town in America and make the sport as mainstream as soccer.”
As mainstream as soccer to billionaires, I suppose.
The bit ends with GM Watkins declaring, “Everybody wants to be a surfer.”
Thanks to Kelly Slater and crew, not anymore.
