Iconic eight-time world champion Stephanie Gilmore savages sexist surf industry in new tell-all: “Yes, there were moments where I felt pressure as an up-and-coming surfer to look good in a bikini and to have that hot beach-girl vibe!”

Blonde Ambition.

When I first became aware of John John Florence’s participation in the Haleiwa Challenger, I must admit to being lightly disappointed. Oh, it’s not that I don’t want to see the North Shore prodigy done good back in his home waters, it’s just that… I don’t know… I guess the World Surf League singlet just felt beneath him.

Florence, you see, had just returned from an epic quest across the Pacific on his catamaran and, as a sailor myself, could really imagine the terrors he faced as well as the ecstasy. Sailing is a difficult game, things always going wrong, problems perpetually needing to be solved punctuated by moments of pure sublime. Running with the wind, for instance, everything still while the hull, or hulls in Florence’s case, knife through the water. Or staring up at the starry skies unpolluted by man’s light.

Glorious and to come back from that to the sound of Joe Turpel, to groveling for 1.2s and 2.3s, seemed… sad.

Well, not everything can be Jules Verne, I suppose, and Florence came back not only participated but slayed all-comers, including Kanoa Igarashi, Ryan Callinan and Açai Rodrigues to hoist the first jewel of the Triple Crown high above his blonde head.

The waves, I must say, looked proper fun and Florence’s knee looked right with wicked blow-tails not seen since Conan Hayes.

Does this mean that he is the favorite to depose Filipe Toledo as the favorite heading into the 2023 season?

Imagine Florence sitting at first after dominating Teahupo’o, heading into Lower Trestles.

Oops.

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