Another failure for the one-time “King of Teahupo’o.”
Filipe Toledo is surfing’s ultimate conundrum. The diminutive Brazilian, with a lion tattoo’d heart, is, on one hand, a two time world champion, crowned at Lower Trestles with an unmatched little wave game. On the other, coddles a very obvious terror of one of the world’s most iconic waves.
Nothing more needs to be written, or said, about the 30-year-old’s Teahupo’o Terrors. Zero point heat totals, being lapped by geriatrics, his father jumping in to fight his battles for him, etc.
In a word, embarrassing.
Though Toledo has never signaled any embarrassment whatsoever. He, or most usually his father, flash teeth at any hint that the li’l fella is afraid of the Place of Skulls or any other big barreling left over shallow reef. Even though he became “King of Teahupo’o” for one brief moment during the Olympics, wrangling a mid-size wave and claiming hard, he has been unable to alter the storyline that he is a big ol’ chicken when it counts.
And now today, the Lexus Tahiti Pro opener in fading, but still decent, surf with Filipe Toledo one spot out of the vaunted “Final Five,” those allowed to challenge for the 2025 Championship Tour cup in gorgeous, but also scary, Fiji.
And so, the San Clemente boy man transplant paddled into his opening round heat seven of the Lexus Tahiti Pro with all eyes on.
We all watched, some hoping for the shaky-knee’d trainwreck. Others hoping for proof haters were all wrong.
Toledo delivered a wildly mixed bag. He paddled twice-ish, sure, but paddled weird. He dropped, yes, hands-free, even, but it seemed more accidental than steezy.
He didn’t really get barreled.
He came in dead last and kicked to the elimination round to face the notoriously brave Rio Waida.
It was noted from the booth, likely accidentally, that Toledo came late to Tahiti, missing the mega-swell that saw Griffin Colapinto go over the falls over a tow surfer amongst other moments of madness.
And then the elimination round.
Toledo came up against the aforementioned Waida, the small Indonesian who sat deeper than his foe in an absolutely dying swell, comboing the world number 7 (live rankings) right away.
Toledo simply doesn’t want to go at Teahupo’o at, really, any size even if his competitive future is on the line.
What does it mean?
Why do we care?
Does House Toledo’s abject failures speak to our own?
Discuss.
